So I started reading Choices of One last night, because I’d forgotten about it and was reminded of it – and only the bits with Thrawn or Pellaeon, mind, ‘cause I have no real desire to read a whole book about Mara right now. But at any rate…
“But why me?” Car’das persisted. "You have the Emperor’s ear. Why not a Royal Guard, or some brilliant junior fleet officer?“ He snorted. "Why not Vader himself? If you could stand his company.”
Thrawn smiled… and to Car’das’s amazement, there was sadness in the other’s normally calm expression. "Because,“ he said quietly, “you’re the only one I trust.”
Car’das stared at him, some of his own self-pity fading away into a fresh pool of shame. Thrawn had left everything: his home, his people, his prestige, his life. He’d dedicated himself to protecting the civilized parts of the galaxy against pirates, warlords, and distant, nameless nightmares that Car’das could barely even imagine.
And yet, in the end, all that work and sacrifice had come down to this. The greatest military mind of the age, with only a single, solitary, worthless man whom he could trust. "I’m sorry,“ he said quietly.
Nobody told me this book was ALSO FULL OF FEELS.
Not only is Car’das in his extremely low point in his life, where he is dying and bitter and cares about nothing anymore (except for Thrawn, it seems), which hurts me enough as it is because MY PRECIOUS INNOCENT SUNSHINE CHILD FROM OUTBOUND FLIGHT NOOOOOOOO, but then it has to go and rub salt in the wound by Thrawn actually LOOKING SAD and literally having NO FRIENDS except for Car’das WHAT IS THIS.
I didn’t sign up for this uuuuuuuuuafhasldfkjasldkfjasdfasdf.
In other news, all of Pellaeon’s scenes are fantastic and he continues to win me over constantly even though I already love him.