The New Thrawn Books: The tl;dr Version

hinerdsitscat:

Book 1: Thrawn

Empire: Thrawn, you might be a right bastard of an alien, but damned if you don’t get results. You’re promoted again!
Thrawn: Can I take my translator with me?
Eli Vanto: You really don’t need me to translate for you anymore.
Thrawn: Oh no, help, I just forgot every word of Basic I ever learned.
Eli: You’re speaking Basic RIGHT NOW.
Thrawn: Okay so we’re all in agreement that my translator is coming with me?
Eli: <groans> All I wanted to do was be a supply clerk ffs

BOOK 2: Thrawn: Alliances

<Setting: The Past>
Anakin Skywalker: <kicks down every door he encounters in search of Padme> WHERE IS SH—oh hey, a weird alien.
Thrawn: You are probably the most screwed up sentient being I have ever encountered in my life but ngl I’m kind of digging it.

<Setting: The Present>
Narrator: HE’S a by-the-book Grand Admiral, and HE’S a loose cannon Sith Lord. Together, they fight crime solve mysteries about disturbances in the Force!
Thrawn: You know, back when I went on an adventure with Anakin Skywalker—

Vader: SAY HIS NAME ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL THROW YOU OUT OF A DAMN AIRLOCK
Thrawn: 😉
Vader: <screams internally>

Ahhh… C’mon, I had not gotten high from huffing Sabine Wren’s blow me paints…