The New Thrawn Books: The tl;dr Version

hinerdsitscat:

Book 1: Thrawn


Empire: Thrawn, you might be a right bastard of an alien, but damned if you don’t get results. You’re promoted again!
Thrawn: Can I take my translator with me?
Eli Vanto: You really don’t need me to translate for you anymore.
Thrawn: Oh no, help, I just forgot every word of Basic I ever learned.
Eli: You’re speaking Basic RIGHT NOW.
Thrawn: Okay so we’re all in agreement that my translator is coming with me?
Eli: <groans> All I wanted to do was be a supply clerk ffs

BOOK 2: Thrawn: Alliances

<Setting: The Past>
Anakin Skywalker: <kicks down every door he encounters in search of Padme> WHERE IS SH—oh hey, a weird alien.
Thrawn: You are probably the most screwed up sentient being I have ever encountered in my life but ngl I’m kind of digging it.

<Setting: The Present>
Narrator: HE’S a by-the-book Grand Admiral, and HE’S a loose cannon Sith Lord. Together, they fight crime solve mysteries about disturbances in the Force!
Thrawn: You know, back when I went on an adventure with Anakin Skywalker—

Vader: SAY HIS NAME ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL THROW YOU OUT OF A DAMN AIRLOCK
Thrawn: 😉
Vader: <screams internally>


evilwriter37:

Antis: Oh you mean normal people?

Me: No. No I do not, because normal people don’t throw a tantrum about how other people interact with fiction. Nor do they send death threats and wish for actual people to die. Normal people also don’t think writing is the same as abusing someone.